| whats up with friends ? |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|11:21 pm] |
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How can I always lend a hand
But ignore the cries within myself
It brings me joy to bring you a smile
But my emptiness still sits up on the shelf
Inside my heart will always bleed
But I will never let it be shown on my face
Only the tear that falls down my cheek
Will give you a glimpse, a shadow, a trace
I suffocate when I try to breathe
The chains you gave won't let my body go
I have dreams, and needs, and wants
My body is numb, I think maybe you should know
I struggle with my demons each day
You feed them while you slowly watch me die
Please let me be and please set me free
I want to smile as I look up at the sky
I want the moon to brighten the night
I want the clouds to pass me on by
I want the stars to guide me to heaven
And I want wings to life me and fly
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Sometimes I ponder about what will come next
Where will my life turn when it seems to stall?
When is the next time I will smile again?
and how will I get up, should I fall?
Happiness fills me with a touch of sadness.
By that I mean I know it can't last.
Beauty decays, laughter subsides
When will the stones be cast?
Tragedy can be measured
by the amount of happiness taken away
Elusion is our only protection
As we fall victim to its prey
So when I've reached a fork in life's road
and the choices are many or few.
I follow the one that leads away from misfortune
Thats all I can really do
When life is good
You have to hold it in your hand
You have to close your eyes
You have to breathe it in!
Happiness may end
While tragedy begins
Today is the beginning
Is tomorrow the end?
For each step I take
I will think of you
after all your just the dirt
grinding up in my shoe.
How much I hate you now
for all the things you done
for you could never know
because I hate you a ton.
You make my heart bleed
every time I see your face
and my fist tighten
when I think of this waste.
Rage fills my soul
every time I hear your name
anger fills my mind
knowing nothing can be the same.
I'm still building back up
after you tore off all ties
but I tell you it is for the better
because I'm sick of your stupid lies.
Your not fooling anyone
when you come to school with your stupid smile
we all can see you're faking
because time takes awhile.
Why do you expect everyone
to look at you as they walk by
your know different then anyone
this is something you don't understand why.
You are no part of me
your the one that broke all ties
I don't give a damn anymore
I'm sick of you keep saying your goodbyes.
Give up already
because you're really getting me pissed
I don't care what you think of me
so would you learn to let me be.
I'm sick of you
you hurt me more then you think I hurt you
stop blaming me for what has happened
because I'm sick of feeling this pain by the things you say and do.
Why do you even care
can't you just ignore
after all your the one that can't forgive
this is really becoming a bore.
Come up with something new
after all it will just be another lie
but at least you will have something else to do
besides always saying goodbye.
Stop taking things out on me
this is something you could never see
its the truth though I tell you
so will you just let me be...
Thanks for being my friend
Thanks for always being there
Thanks for everything
Thanks for turning your back on me
Thanks for not telling the truth
Thanks for making me realize my life is just one big lie
and Thanks for making me want to die
Thanks for letting me think you actually cared
But most of all thanks for teaching me the biggest lesson in life. You taught me that you can't trust anyone but yourself, because no matter what anyone says
Hey I know it's impossible,
but I tried for perfection
cause I wanted acceptance
and you gave rejection.
I didn't hate you - I wanted to love you
and when each day did dawn - grass soaked with dew
once again I'd fake that smile
just so i could be, good enough for you.
Some call it pathetic,
Some say it's lame,
but day after day
i'll continue on in this childish game
I'll beg for you love,
and with the most forced of smiles - ill try all day long.
Till alone in my room, ill turn up the radio and cry until dawn
then one day ill realise I'll realize I got it all wrong.
I needn't have endured the put-downs and the pain
I didn't need to feel so worthless or meek
I didn't need to play your stupid little game
and let you walk all over me.
Cause I can never be all that you wanted of me!
I can't change the way I am - I can't be perfect!
The truth is your no better than me!
and a true friend would love me, JUST AS I AM
Funny how friends say forever,
people never seem to stay together
You told me not to worry, told me not to cry,
you said we were best friends, it was a lie.
I'm here still pretending not to care,
pretending I don't notice your never there.
To have a bond like we did was amazing,
but you picked a boy over that, over me, just replacing.
You hurt me so bad you will never know,
and the pain I keep inside I will never show.
You'd probably see it if you just tried,
and know how many nights I have cried.
But don't worry I'll be fine,
I'm not the one who left all my friends behind.
I used to think,
Our friendship was the best.
Now we can really,
Put it to the test.
You were always there for me,
This I know,
Always right there,
Being alone is what I wanted though.
Every time something bad happened,
You always said it was my fault.
When that started,
My love for you came to a halt.
Why would you blame me,
For something I didn't do?
Can't you just for once believe,
That what I say could be true?
I know it's hard,
To face reality,
Because it's a lot easier,
To make this illusion what you see.
I thought I was your best friend,
Come to find out I wasn't even close.
The sting of the truth,
Is what hurt me the most.
I thought you were my best friend,
Now I know that's not true.
Goodbye, _________________________________
Our friendship is through
The way you look at me now
makes me appreciate what I had
now I'm never happy
I'm always depressed or somewhat sad
our relationship was one of the best
it was so different
it stood out before the rest
I sometimes wonder what went wrong
while still sitting here
reminiscing this sad love song
I cant blame myself
because I’ve been doing that all along
I thought we would be friends forever
but it didn't last quite long
it was a couple months over a year
and your trust
was what I held so dear
you were the one I ran to
when I felt lower than dirt
you always were there for me
and because of you I didn't hurt
you always told me it would be okay
I didn't want to believe it
but i realized it with each passing day
being in your presence brought a smile to my face
and now that you’re not here there’s an empty hole in my heart
that no one can replace
i just feel different
like what one person said .
friends is not about someone who tried their best
its them being themselves
im living my dream .
trying to be good at something .
but friends , make it the impossible .
i thought theyre gonna encourage me , or support me .
but theyre like pulling you down the rope that youre climbing .
i dont know why .
ive seen , he's changed abit .
off all i know ,
friends who disturb me , hate me when i was in primary school ,
now theyre like a big part of me , my bestfriends i call it .
who's like there for me .
those friends in my secondary school ,
first they act theyre my best part .
but then they just suck .
i dont knowwhhyy .
im confused .
but i know that i can trust on my best friends
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syagotcharacter's journal
ughh im sorry
heTEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEE